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.." Call me Julia, please. I know our similar names are confusing, but I like to think you were a friend before you were a patient." Oh, yeah. Thank you," Julie responded uncertainly. "Anyway, it's hard for me to think of Mom as the same person who did those things. You must see it - how totally different she is. Back at graduation time, I used to lay awake at night thinking of ways I could get revenge on her and my Dad. But what would be the point any more?" For my whole life, I saw how my friend Candy was with her Mom. I was so jealous - I wanted that. I think all girls want that. Then, when I moved in with Glen, I got some of that with Betty - a lot it. It made me feel even worse for what I had missed. Now, I'm getting it from my own mother. It feels too good to spoil it by getting angry at her all over again." Julie, I've spent years with patients and failed to get them to the place you have just expressed. Are you sure you really need to see me?" Hey, I told you what my mind has. I went around back when there was no answer at the door and that is when my life changed. I froze when I saw her on the back patio. She was completely naked and playing with herself in a lawn chair. I am not talking cards here, she was full on masturbating. I stood there dumbfounded. Part of me wanted to yell at her for sinning in such a way. Part of me wanted to just quietly walk away. However, for reasons I may never understand, I just stood and watched. More shocking then that was the effect it was having on me. I noticed that I was becoming aroused. Shame hit be like a fist and for the same unknown reasons, that shame only fed the arousal. I was still standing there watching, very aware of my own wetness, when Jessica noticed me. I thought I would die from embarrassment. She looked me in the eyes and smiled. She motioned for me to come over to where she was. I do not know what the hell I was thinking. I was just so embarrassed that I went over to where she was without any real.
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